yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
