i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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