she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
