we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
third nipple confirmed
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize