you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just had sex on a roof
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
