My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
