Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i permit you to call me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
