Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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