i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
