I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
