I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
the liver wants what the liver wants
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
