dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
