you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
