How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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