I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
