Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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