my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize