Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
