Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
