every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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