Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
