do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize