put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i've created a new STD.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize