he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
