hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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