no you cant smoke seaweed
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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