But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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