ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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