Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Drake has all the answers
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
