I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
porn star boner night. come get it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize