Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
