even my farts smell like vagina
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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