so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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