my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
