is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
