He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
