It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
