At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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