i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
