Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think i got beer on your cat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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