the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
