Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
sarcasm needs its own font
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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