I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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