a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
