Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
