You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
