Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
