I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
