Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
