Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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