It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
