I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
