This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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