i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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