I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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