rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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