It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
