she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
