Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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