I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
