Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
