Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
