did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Congratulations! We have a period
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
