Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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