Can i not drive my cunt home
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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